Once upon a time, I was convinced that I was incredibly limited on options for opportunities. Partly because of our society’s class system. Partly because of someone telling me every day how R-word I was. But mostly because I told myself I was limited on options for opportunities.
Once upon a time, I wanted to be the President of the United States. I was told that I would make a great president, but I wouldn’t be able to afford the path to get there.
I wanted to be a singer – but I couldn’t sing in front of people.
I wanted to be a nurse – but my partner at the time said I couldn’t handle school AND being a mother… I believed him.
I wanted to be in sports – but I had asthma.
I wanted to be an author – but I couldn’t get my thoughts out in order.
I wanted to be an artist – but I couldn’t draw.
I wanted to do so many things… but I knew I couldn’t… I had to have a plan for every move I made, and if a move seemed out of reach, I would simply stay put.
Constantly going down the what-if rabbit whole is exactly what held me back. What if it goes wrong? What if I mess it up? What if I get too distracted and lose sight of myself? What if I get so far and then can’t afford to keep going? What if I go too far and can’t come back? What if someone gets mad at me? What if…?
And then one day, someone said “But if you don’t… you’ll never know the answer to ‘what if’…”
That moment began the transformation in my mind from “what if?” to “so what?”
So what if someone gets mad at me? So what if I mess it up? So what if I can’t afford to keep going? So what if I get it wrong? SO WHAT?!
What’s the worst that happens? I have to try again? I have to learn something new? I have to struggle or apologize?
On the other hand… What if I get all the way through life never knowing “what if I’d done that?”
No one is going to live my life for me. No one is going to make me successful or happy or healthy. I have to do that myself…
so I can’t afford to ask myself “what if” anymore!
So what if I can?
NO ONE will ever have control over me again. NO ONE will ever mold me into their own intentions again. NO ONE will ever tell me I can’t… I know better.
I know I can.
